by Kiva Leatherman

Money is not a difficult thing. Let me say that again… money is not difficult. It is neither good nor bad. It has nothing against you and you shouldn’t have anything against it. Money is simply the mechanism that we use in society to exchange our efforts for goods and services. That is it.

And yet, so many women I talk to give money all of these attributes, or even worse, feel like it’s not something that they can get control of or have in their lives. I hear women business owners afraid to charge more and other women afraid to ask their husband’s about their financial situation. I hear stories of women that have been taught, from the earliest age – that rich people must be bad and that there is pride to be had in struggling. I hear of women that have saddled themselves with debt because shopping makes them feel good and I hear of women that won’t spend a dime on themselves because they have guilt about spending their “husband’s” money.

I just read that 40 billionaires from the United States have pledged to gift at least half of their assets to charitable organizations. I cannot begin to imagine the amazing things that this money will do –  build hospitals and revitalize schools, educate women and clean our environment.

I heard a quote once, which I can’t remember precisely – but the gist was that evil comes from using people to increase money. And good comes from using money to increase people. In other words – it’s the intent and the actions that are good or bad. The money has nothing to do with it.

To you business owner’s out there – I say this: not asking to be paid what you are worth is not fair to your clients. They are not making the necessary financial commitment to reap the benefits of your product and/or services. You are also limiting your own ability to grow your business so that you can share your gifts with even more people.  *if raising your fees makes you totally uncomfortable consider allowing existing clients a discount or locked in rate for six months or so.

To all you working women: Not asking for a raise is saying that you are less valuable than the men in your office (and I know that is not true). I guarantee you – they are asking. They like to ask. It’s like a game to be won for men to negotiate. I know that it’s a bad economy – I know that companies are struggling – and, hey, you may not get what you ask for… but you’re sure to not get it if you don’t ask. *if you try this approach and do not succeed ask for a salary review in six months.

To all you SAHM’s: (hugs!) your value in your home is priceless. Please stop thinking of it as your husband’s money. It is the way that the responsibilities have divied up for now, but just because the paycheck doesn’t come in your name does not mean that you don’t help earn it. You can put up to $5000 per year into a spousal IRA for YOUR retirement. You need to take care of yourself - and it’s worth a conversation with your spouse/partner if this is an issue. *broach the subject with the assurance that you are not questioning your partners abilities with the finances but that it is important for you to know about your household’s financial situation.

I could go on, and everyone’s situation is completely different – but I hope you get the point. I don’t mean to go all Suze Orman on you but this is not the time to go soft about your money. These are modern times and we get to talk about it…

And when you have money you can do really, really good things with it. Like those billionaires!

So what’s your story with money? Are you giving it personality traits that it is not deserving of? Are you using it to pick you up when you’re down? Are you rejecting opportunities to earn money out of fear or guilt?

I’d love to hear your comments on this topic – leave them on the blog or shoot me an email…